This post is a little different from what I normally do, but hopefully it will help someone.
Often times foolish boys ranging from 18-60 years old, maybe older, will make comments to other men saying they are ‘whipped’ with regard to the way they interact with their wives. I too have been on the receiving end of this criticism and never realized the damage it causes. For any man who desires to love his wife please hear these words. In recent times a man approached me telling me that I do far too much in my home, from cooking meals, to cleaning up, and helping with my son and so on. He never used the term ‘whipped’ but the intent was there. Now I am very content in my marriage, and I understand that true love is to lay down your life for another, and especially your wife. So my reaction to this was a little bit angry, and a little bit sad, and ultimately disappointed because the man who offered this criticism is a very discontent man. (He is not a reader of this blog and I do not expect he will be, or I would not post this.) So I left this conversation and went on with my life, unaware of how that conversation affected me. When I arrived at home and began cleaning up some of the mess in the house my mind went back to the conversation and I began to think “I should not have to do this” and as I cleaned the couple dishes I saw in the sink I thought, “This is not my job.” Going downstairs and seeing that laundry needed done, I just looked at it, and was upset. None of the circumstances of my life that day were any different than the day before, but I was now discontent. Somehow this man who was trying to help me find contentment by trying to get me to get my wife to do more did nothing more than create discontent in my heart. A bitterness took root, because while I was content before, now I was concerned about fairness, and making sure I got what I thought I deserved, and in these brief moments my life was no longer laid down for my wife. This conversation with this man led me to a point, without me even knowing it, of expecting my wife to lay down her life for me, before I would lay mine down in return. Fortunately the Lord taught me very quickly in this matter and it only lasted about 30 hours before the Lord brought conviction and repentance. Here is what I learned.
First, the attack was at my pride.
Basically getting me to think I deserved more. I became bitter because I was concerned with fairness, and not with unconditionally seeking to do good for my wife which is another way to say loving my wife. It is interesting that boys (old enough to be men) want to attack men by questioning their authority at home based on what their wives do for them. It is really backwards. Was it not Christ who had all authority, and yet died cursed for His bride, washing her feet, praying for her, and constantly in service to her? He is the model of authority, not some man who can get his wife to make him dinner on command.
The second thing I recognized is that this discontent was the original sin of mankind. Was it not the serpent who said to Eve, ‘surely you may eat.’ You see Adam and Eve had no reason for discontentment, but the serpent came in and insisted that they were ‘whipped’ by God and deserved more, i.e. the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. This is the same thing that drives all of politics today, convincing people they deserve more, and then promising to be the fulfillment of what people think they deserve. It is a wicked wicked process designed to breed discontent and the masses bite into it hook line and sinker.
So what is the point of all this. Well the ultimate display of love and authority was Jesus Christ, who was whipped for, and by His bride. That is precedent enough for me to do all in my power to serve my wife regardless of what I receive in return. My wife is a tremendous woman, who honors her husband and has a beautiful sweet spirit about her, most people who know her would testify to that. The powers of darkness will always attack what is good, and this recent encounter was no different.
I will leave it at that. I know this is a different sort of post, but in some way I hope it helped someone.